This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Randomize
