Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The power of my boobs compel you
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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