your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
