Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Ketchup is God's man juice
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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