Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
