Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Randomize
