I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
We have started to decorate penises.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
