she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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