He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
