I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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