I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
