I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
