How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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