currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
