I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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