I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
