my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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