ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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