he wants to bone in the snuggie
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
