Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
