Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
