Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
