I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
