on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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