And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
