the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
