You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
