Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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