The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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