I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
