u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
