I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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