We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
