i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
