Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
