we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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