I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
