thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
