i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize