covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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