69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
