Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
