my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
