Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
