just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
