dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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