I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize