I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
