would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
