take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
