I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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