I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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