Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
