The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
